The door opens and out comes that other person, the moody and sad one. She makes it hard for me to enjoy her company. I want to hug her and tell her that it’ll be all right, but it won’t, will it!
She wants so badly to resume doing for herself when she comes to the here and now. She can’t remember how to use the washing machine, but she so wants to be independent. So, I try and guide her without irritating her. When she gets irritated, she gets angry, and I don’t like her angry, so I prepare the washer and she only has to press two buttons, and then she feels the accomplishment of a task well done. Such a simple task, but so complicated to her, I hate that this disease is robbing her of her thought process. I do I do, wouldn’t you?
She whistles away tunes of eras gone past. I remember the tunes from my childhood, because she sang them , then. My tears flow and my heart hurts. She must not see me cry. She wouldn’t understand. I see a glimpse of yesterday and I love it, and miss it. Not that I’d want to return to yesterday, you see, but because she was whole, then. Her mind is being robbed of so many memories. I covet the ones she does have. Even though sometimes they’re all jumbled together. I miss her, then.
She loves to clean, anything. So when I see she tries and I find debris behind, I do my part and pick up her slack. Her slack is more every day. I don’t mind, she’s still active. I love her being active. I see glimmers of the other person, the caring, compassionate soul she is and I just want to help her stay that person as long as she is able. When that sad person comes, I stay out of the way and just let her be. She is not the one I remember. I miss the one I remember, more every day. But you know, the more slack I pick up, the more I love this person, because I know she’d be horrified if she knew that I was picking up her slack. I know this to be true.
She relaxes in the sunshine with Snoopy at her feet (my feline buddy). He is a good companion for this grumpy person. He purrs and says nothing and she stays calm and contented. In this grumpy state, all that can be done is simply to be there and be non-threatening for her. So be it! Thanks Snoopy!