A journey in time with Alzheimer's

Keeping You In The Loop

You see me and recognize me …I’m glad …but it brings up questions …you don’t understand the answers. I can’t give you answers you’ll accept with what is left for you to think. You only have part of a puzzle in your head. When you put all those pieces together, it makes sense to you, but not to me. I lived what you partly remember and I know your memory is full of holes. So why put you though the anguish of thinking of what you don’t remember anyways. I guess I’m selfish, I want you to remember, I need you to remember so I am real. For if you forget me, am I real? Do I still exist? You are my Mother. You raised me and taught me how to survive, so when you are gone, whether in body or mind, can I survive without you? I don’t want to, you are part of my reality. God knows my heart, and you are part of it. But then, the physical will go on, can the spiritual too? I know it is true that one day all this will be made known to me. But in the now, I don’t think I can handle the answer. I need to be stronger. Every day I lose you a little more, and somehow I strengthen. Do I strengthen because my reality is changing and I must accept it, or do I accept it because my reality is changing? I praise the Lord for having the answers, and giving them to me small pieces at a time. That is my model dear Mother, just what you can handle, and still keep you in the loop!

Copyright/ Sheila Grimes/ November 2, 2013

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Comments on: "Keeping You In The Loop" (3)

  1. What a hard row you have to hoe. I can see it isn’t getting any easier. Wish I had words to lessen your travail.

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  2. God’s strength will never let you go…

    Like

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