Can’t make it clear why you are where you are. You ran away. You were not happy. You were bitter, mean , constantly quizzing why you were where you were. So …what’s changed …NOTHING! I watch you amazed how you can get in the moment, singing songs, strolling down a hallway, smiling at others, or sitting out in the sunshine, then, back to your room, you start rehashing AGAIN. You want to leave … where do you want to go? “I never had trouble before having a place.” “ Just because I can’t drive a car, I’m here? “ those words are a light into your mind. You say because you can walk, feed yourself etc., physical things, you can care for yourself. But you can’t. Alzheimer’s is a different kind of illness. When a friend is physically ill, people understand. Asking “how Mom is” leaves an empty feeling in my heart. She’s physically stable. Her medicines for the physical ailments are working. But the mind is ill! How to treat an 87-year-old woman who wakes up everyday in her own turmoil of how to GET OUT OF HERE is exhausting. Watching a wheel spin in a mud hole is easier than watching Mother spin and dissolve in the abyss of Alzheimer’s. That wheel CAN GET OUT, Mother can’t. The physical can (if you’re lucky) get fixed, the mental, not so much. Five years ago, she did not want to take new medicines she thought were DIFFERENT, so maybe 20 years ago, if tests had shown the direction her mental health was going, it might have been helpful to plan for the future? Most likely not, most people don’t want to know. Even so, we must face reality, research is advancing everyday, we must rise up and bite the bullet, find out what our chances are for getting Alzheimer’s. I say do it for the ones you love. Have a plan, talk about it with loved ones. Will I take a test? … not sure, but we do talk about it, it’s not a taboo subject in our home. My Mother had no plan and because of no plan, it’s hard to care for her without the stress of wondering am I doing right by her, or was I just a wimp and could have gone 2 miles instead of one!
Caring Is Sharing/sg