Yeah …I’ve said that , been there done that, and now it’s hysterically true with Mother. We’re making circles around circles, it’s so sad. I’ve been watching her for over a year, 24/7. I’m guessing her next moves, her pattern is predictable, usually! I’m looking from the outside, and she’s dealing with all that confusion on the inside She loves a steady diet of ROUTINE. She eats similar foods, textures, colors, bite sizes or mashed. Variety is not her spice of life. I guess our motto is GO WITH HER FLOW. Everything really does revolve around her needs, and wants, just like a small child. The difference is THIS CHILD, has physical ailments that need managing and Mother hates being managed. When I watch her wash dishes, I hold myself back from running up and just TURNING THE FAUCET THE RIGHT WAY, like you’d do for a child learning. She’s steadily sinking deeper into Alzheimer’s abyss …not a day goes by that I don’t see that. Keeping upbeat is a full-time job. When she wakes up moody, seeing my husband or son puts a smile on her face, seeing me, not so much! One could take it personal, her moods. Since I’m the one who fixes her medications, and prepares the food, and monitors her moves with EVERYTHING, I’m her Fall Guy, I get it. I’ll always remember a conversation we had when she was on the Behavior Unit at the hospital, she was so lucid, saying , Sis, do what you have to do. She was actually giving me permission to care for her, keep her safe. I pray my compassion for her condition never waivers. I pray God blesses her with holding me tight and giving me her fight to go on.
Caring Is Sharing …DAISY DUCK HERE!